Game of Thrones finished its fifth season Sunday night.
Sam left Jon Snow so that he could do what he was truly meant to do, and bring his lady and baby with him. It’s almost like they think we care about what he’s up to or that he gets laid.
Continuing on escape mode, Sansa made her great escape after her hubby dearest went off to battle.
There was the now-requisite torture of girls under the age of ten, because this show was getting to be too watchable, I guess. Luckily Arya was there to murder the man torturing the girls by gouging his eyes out and slitting his throat while saying “I’m Arya Stark. Do you know who you are? You’re noone”. Get it girl.
There was then some weird-ass face shit happening in that temple Arya has holed up in and she suddenly went blind.
Jamie Lannnister finally got Marcella (his daughter/niece) from the place with all the palm trees and crazies onto a boat. Turns out she always knew she was Jamie’s baby and she’s real happy about it. But immediately after this revelation she got a nose bleed and died. Turns out when she kissed the woman who had been watching her goodbye she was poisoned.
Daenerys’s dragon turned against her and wouldn't bring her home after saving her in the last episode and a bunch of guys on horses came to take her.
Cersei had to confess to her sins, she admitted to some but not all of them. We also got to see a LOT of Cersei when she was washed and had her hair chopped off after being let go (all that beautiful hair!!). That was probably the most distressing part of the episode for me. And of course a woman would get shamed for having sex, but at least her body is literally flawless. For real though it was the worst walk of shame in history (literally someone walking behind her naked body yelling shame, I mean come on).
Jon Snow got stabbed hella lot (for the Watch supposedly). And that was our requisite main character death for the season. RIP Jon Snow.