Nick and Shawn are in a little seaside cottage. Shawn is talking and not listening to anything Nick says. Suddenly they look into each other’s eyes and realize that maybe they actually have found true love…with each other. The cameras go outside but the audio is still on so we can hear their tender love making.
Or at least that’s how I was hoping this confrontation would pan out. But alas. They just continued to disagree in a very boring manner. Brokeback Bachelor continues to be nothing but a pipe dream that we were once promised...
Kaitlyn and Ben go and ride horses. There are so many knit sweaters. As well as donkeys with “sick haircuts” (thanks for the description Ben). The horses and nature felt Ben’s calming presence, as did Kaitlyn. Enough to invite him up to the fantasy suite.
Let’s be real: Ben is the safe choice. He’s boring and would be the easy one to pick. BUT he’s not even that safe of a choice, he JUST turned 26. He may think he knows what he wants but chances are he doesn’t. He has a chance of winning since the other two are acting like such dorks though.
The fantasy suites have been super played-down this season because there was so much drama in the lead-up to it and so much focus on her banging Nick before the suites. It’s weird for there not to be this big deal surrounding them.
Shawn and Kaitlyn go golfing and he asks if the pants make his butt look big and he HAS to wear a pink shirt because HUMOUR AMIRITE. HAHAH. PINK SHIRT ON MEN. HAHAH. SO GREAT.
Also FYI ladies, if she doesn’t pick Shawn, you need to have a good golf swing for him to consider you wife material EVEN THOUGH HE SUCKS AT IT.
He gets naked and she steals his clothes (humour). Irish music plays (that sounds maybe like the Titanic soundtrack?).
Shawn tells Kaitlyn that he talked to Nick and he will talk to him again and she was all no, you don’t need to do that. Duh, dummy. All Kaitlyn is worried about is that Shawn will be loyal. Not that he’ll be possessive or over jealous (which RED FLAG he will be). She takes him to the suite to continue their discussions off camera where she hopes she’ll know by morning whether or not he’ll be marriage material.
Shawn went to talk to Nick again to tell him that he never wants to talk to him again. V productive. We get it Shawn, you like to talk. But we hate to break it to you, nobody wants to talk to you.
Kaitlyn and Chris had a little fireside chat (because, Ireland. Maybe they’re stuck there? Maybe someone’s passport got lost and they couldn’t leave?).
Her dress looks amazing, I guess to give the guy she’s sending home a good leaving memory of her. But before she can hand out a single rose she breaks down and has to leave the room. Chris Harrison obviously helps her regain her composure so she can come back and give Nick and Shawn a rose and send Ben home. So now *the drama continues*.
The remaining gentlemen (I’m taking that guy with the hair’s advice of not referring to them by name). Pounded back their wine so quick that they were left with nothing to do but adjust their panties and stand around.
Our first stop after Ireland is Utah, where apparently she’ll be meeting both Shawn and Nick’s families. Does that not defeat the purpose of hometowns?
Nick’s family sits awkwardly in a hotel room drinking and crying for Nick. They were VERY concerned for his well being. Even though he’s the one who decided to come on the show in the first place. But (supposedly) love her after talking with her for five minutes. And after they danced in a very natural, unposed way.
Nick cried to his mommy.
Kaitlyn brings the same gifts to both families, which hopefully they don’t notice while watching this episode, or else there may be *trouble in paradise*.
Shawn tells Kaitlyn that he’s been in love with her for a while. They made out and all their gross kissing sounds were very audible.
Kaitlyn then cried because the day went so well. Kaitlyn cried because Kaitlyn cries and that’s how we have to end every episode.
Next week we have the Men Tell All then the finale in two weeks where obviously both of them will propose.
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