The Bachelorette Recap
Because why would we jump into a rose ceremony, Kaitlyn must first go on a two-on-one date with Joe and JJ. She’ll have to send one of them home.
JJ mentioned Bono (they’re in Ireland) within the first few minutes of the date. Then things went immediately silent and awkward.
Don’t worry, things got interesting fast when JJ admitted to Kaitlyn that he cheated on his wife and that it destroyed his life (yeah no shit Sherlock). Kaitlyn said that she understands he probably learned a lot from that experience and wouldn’t make that mistake again. Katie needs a girlfriend here right now for some real girl talk to say: once a cheater, always a cheater. Don’t fucking do it.
Luckily she still got rid of JJ, using the excuse that he should probably be with his daughter.
Can we all agree two-on-ones are literally the worst? There is nothing more awkward. Never forget when Chris left two ladies out in the middle of the desert.
Shawn was contemplating on a bench in front of the mansion they’re staying at before the guys left for their two-on-one. Apparently there was NOTHING else to do in Ireland that day because they cut to him in the exact same position IN THE DARK. GO HOME SHAWN. YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS.
He couldn’t even listen to Joe talk about his date, so he left (presumably in search for a new bench). Before he can find any benches to perch he stops by Kaitlyn’s room (again). She’s still concerned that he knows what happened with Nick. But he just wants to talk about how she has said she told him he’s it.
She now regrets telling him that because she was just saying it to reassure him and not because she actually means it.
We finally hit the rose ceremony. This week it’s a cozy mid-show ceremony.
It’s here that Ben confronts Kaitlyn because he knows she has said something to Shawn that gave him validation.
Because Katie-pie couldn’t get over the fact that she slept with Nick she confronted Nick and asked him to never mention what happened in the privacy of their room. He had a mini freakout and said he would never say anything and he got real spasm-y. Maybe if he hadn’t talked about what happened with Andi in the fantasy suite the ladies would trust he could keep his damn mouth shut.
There was more talking with Shawn explaining how the process actually worked.
Then we finally saw some roses. Ben H., Chris, and Shawn got the roses. Sending Ben Z. and Tanner (totally forgot about him) home.
The group headed out for a road trip, Kaitlyn and Jared riding together in a cool car while all the guys were on a lame bus.
Chris Harrison decided that Kaitlyn needed to get her other relationships up to speed, and for that to happen they would need off-camera time. To do this, they’re switching things up. This week she’ll cut THREE GUYS and get down to the remaining three, then they’ll have the fantasy suites, then they’ll do the hometown dates.
This is very very different from how the show does things.
So first she’s going to have one-on-one dates, then decide which ones she does not want to spend the night with.
Cupcake got the first date, but she quickly knew that she couldn’t see it going any further and so she got on her helicopter and left him on a mountainside. Cupcake called her a mess and doesn’t think she knows what she wants right now. Then we saw Cupcake crying. It almost looked like he was going to jump off the cliff he was left on.
Next week Kaitlyn tells the guys she and Nick had sex. Then it looks like it comes down to either Shawn or Nick for a final rose. Ladies and, well, ladies, this is what we’ve been waiting for.
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