'The Bachelorette' Recap

Before we could actually start watching tonight we got a sneak preview that Chad was going to be a “super douche” tonight. And he started off by telling everyone to fuck themselves because he was going to make her his wife.

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This week there is two group dates and a one-on-one date.

For the first group date it was Luke, Grant, Will, Evan, Daniel, Vinny, Aly, James F., Wells, and Robby. To start the date off, a flaming limo pulled into the driveway, and then a firetruck with Jojo at the helm came to put the fire out.

Cue one million references of Jojo being hot and and on fire and etc etc I hate everything. I really wish that bit would have ended like this. Then I would have been happy.

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While the others were on the group date, Chad filled his suitcase with protein powder and supplements, tied it around his waist and did pull ups.

Meanwhile, the guys on the date had to compete in firefighter tasks to spend extra time with Jojo. Wells took the route of getting heat stroke to get a few extra minutes with her. The guy who won time with Jojo was Grant, but Wells got the rose in the end. Don’t reward the weak, Jojo!

The second date card was for Derek, for the one-on-one date. You all remember Derek right? Right?

His date was all about what choices he decided to make (sky, sea, north, south, etc). He apparently chose right because he got a rose.

The last group date went to Jordan, Christian, Nick, James T., Alex, Chad. This group date went to ESPN, which obviously everyone loved. They had to “strike the rose” and come up with their own touch down dances, then they had to propose after spinning around. Chad was NOT into these little games, and called Jojo “naggy”. James got the rose for this date.

Before the rose ceremony even began, Chad was waiting outside for Jojo and took her on a walk, which was a great move, even though it pissed the rest of the guys off.

The rest of the night Chad spent eating as much meat as humanely possible. It was hysterical.

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Everyone else spent the rest of the night hating on Chad. Which, Chad isn’t a nice guy, but they all need to back off of this because it doesn’t look good, it never does. 
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Chad did show his true colours after Alex pushed him a little too far and Chad started threatening him. It didn’t have a chance to go too far though. 

The roses went to Alex, Christian, Robby, Luke, Chase, Jordan, Grant, Ali, Daniel, James F., Nick, Vinny, Evan, and Chad. Sending home James, the Hipster and another dude we don’t remember.

Until next week, we wish you a week of meat and perfect commentary and no songs about Jojo.

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