The guys who got the rose were Ben H., Ben Z., Shawn, Tanner, Joe, Ian, JJ, Joshua, and Nick. Ryan and Jonathan and Corey all had to leave then. Bye boys.
The rest of the group got to go to San Antonio, Texas, to warm their toes.
Here Ben H. got a one-on-one with Kaitlyn. They went to two-step competition, because there haven’t been enough awkward performances this season yet.
Ben H. impressed Kaitlyn enough to give him the rose (despite the fact he was drinking champagne while she was chugging back whiskey).
Justin, Jared, Ian, Chris, Tanner, Joe, JJ, Ben Z., Joshua and Nick got the group date. Leaving Shawn with the other one-on-one.
The group date consisted of more humiliation and writing and performing, this time with some mariachi music. Great news, the disc man is alive and well and is still being manufactured strictly for Bachelor use.
If the mariachi kid from this episode could be the Bachelor as soon as he turns 18 that would be great.
Joshua got Kaitlyn to cut his hair while he was blindfolded and she decided to shave off just a part of his hair. She attempted a mohawk but the clippers died halfway through so he got a partial mohawk. It is amazing.
A little later, Joshua took her to a church to rat Nick out (and all the other guys for lying to her face). Kaitlyn just wants the guys to get over the Nick thing already! It’s not her fault that she screwed over everyone by bringing in a known slut-shaming asshole.
After she confronted the guys Joshua said they were all being honest, throwing the bachelorette herself under the bus. The guys subsequently threw Joshie boy and his dumb haircut under the bus.
Because of all the drams, she for some reason gave Nick the group date rose (UGH UGH UGH). And chances are Joshua is going home immediately.
Her and Shawn got to do something nobody has ever done and never will do again - kayak. He then told her about his near-death car accident and said that he was falling in love with her. He’s obviously here for the right reasons.
Ian feels like Kaitlyn doesn’t like him (poor baby). He also feels like she’s not right for him - which is fair. Just leave then.
But he took it further by saying “there’s nothing wrong with me, there’s somethings wrong with her”. And that if he was on the other side of the coin, and was the Bachelor, and had 25 girls to choose from, this system would work for him. So basically he was JUST here to become the next Bachelor. BARF EVERYWHERE.
Other notables from Ian: Kaitlyn is not as hot as his ex-girlfriend. He is a gift you unwrap for life. He meets chicks and has a lot of sex in his own life.
He came here to meet the broken hearted girl, not the girl who wanted her field ploughed. He questions her intentions, and he thinks she’s here just to make our with guys on TV.
Some thoughts about Nick and his name:
Nick the Dick
Nick the Butt Lick
Nick the Prick
Nick the Clit
Nick the Nitwit
Nick V - does the V stand for Vagina? Vagrant? Virign (we know this one isn’t true)? Viagra? Villain? Vomit?
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