We started our episode back with all the men mad at Noah. Surprise, surprise. But also, same.
Then the men who were not at the last group date started a new group date where they had to write a love song for Tayshia. Yawn.
Ivan wrote the best song so he got one-on-one time with Tayshia. I like that in this season some of the one-on-ones are just them hanging out in Tayshia’s home. Also how instead of helicopters and rooftops they are LITERALLY playing the floor is lava.
They ordered room service, which included a ginormous bowl of ice cream, like, inhumanely large. And it was just grossly dripping onto the coffee table. I cannot.
Noah was mad about not being included on another group date. But was clearly just trying to rile the other men up. Time to sit down Noah.
Ivan and Tayshia had a conversation about Black Lives Matter and the way their year has been so tough because of all the stuff going on in the world for them, and how amazing it’s been to watch the movement grow. It’s great to see this portrayed on a TV show that will hopefully hit homes where they maybe wouldn’t hear a conversation like this otherwise.
Of course Ivan got the rose on this date, because they really do seem to have a genuine connection.
The next group date had to do a scavenger hunt while Tayshia and her two BFFs watched. Again, how are they all allowed in this bubble?! I haven’t seen my best friends in months! What the actual fuck.
Zack got the rose on the group date.
Ben was upset he didn’t get any time with her this week, and was getting worried about that, so he decided to walk to her room to be bold. Little did he know, Ed had the same plan.
Ed managed to show up at Chris Harrison’s room at 2:30 in the morning by accident (thanks producers!). So then Ben had Tayshia all to himself.
At the cocktail party, Noah let Tayshia know that he was getting flack at the house for getting the rose he got, basically trying to pit her against the men. Girl see past it and get rid of this fool!
Tayshia then pulled the men all into one room where she reamed them out for thinking she was trying to start drama. She let them know that if they wanted to question her she’d gladly walked them outside. Then she left until the rose ceremony.
Of course all the guys were like ??? and quickly figured out Noah was the last one to talk to her.
In the end, a few more (four) men whose names I do not remember (but I am starting to recognize more faces…) went home.
A day late and a dollar short, or you know a day late and another man (or, like, 5) short. Now that This Is Us has returned to Tuesday nights, I have to prioritize my TV watching, so you can expect these a day behind going forward.
We opened on the cocktail party, pre-rose ceremony. And baby boy Yosef who is still unhappy about what happened on the date he was not on.
He confronted Clare about all the ‘red flags’ he had with her. As you may imagine, this didn’t go over great.
He went on to say it wasn’t what he expected from the oldest Bachelorette ever. And that he was ashamed to be associated with her because she was a bad example to his daughter. He really tore into her and you could see her just trying to contain herself and take this in before losing it.
She finally did lose it on him, telling him that she’d never want her children to have a father like him and she kicked his ass out.
As walking out he kept yelling about her age and the other guys tried to calm him down and not lose their shit.
She went off to the producers until her boy Dale came to save the day for her. This flipped her mood because she loOoOoves him.
Chris Harrison made an appearance to make sure she was okay and get her feelings.
Then we had the rose ceremony, where a few more guys were sent home. We’re still at the point in the season where you go “WHO is that?!” for most of the guys they don’t focus on, so we’re not onto the important rose ceremonies quite yet.
Then a former Bachelorette, (I don’t know who - I missed it because I was scrolling Instagram and I don’t know the franchise that well, clearly) came to give her support. I guess she quarantined, too? For two weeks? Before a cameo?
Of course Clare just talked about her love for Dale the whole time.
Then Clare somehow was four hours late to her day date (which was a group one), and instead they just got a cocktail party with her.
Dale asked to speak to Clare one-on-one first during the date. He did it in a respectful manner, but then that went out the window because they basically spent the whole night together, leaving the rest of the men just sitting around waiting for them to finish smooching in her room.
Everyone was pissed because then they all had to rush their alone time with her. Everyone seemed very on edge and aggressive for the rest of the date. Especially when Dale made another appearance and showed up for a second alone time with her. Yikes.
Dale got the rose on that date and then just dug himself in deeper with the men by trying to explain himself and doing a poor job of it.
The men. Are. Pissed.
Zach J got the one-on-one date, where they went for a spa day (in the compound, of course). And, of course, Clare wishes she was really there with Dale.
They had a super super awkward almost-kiss. Which would be one cringey thing. But then Clare tried to walk away and he kind of tried to pull her back, more than once, and do a do-over of the kiss, but it was very forced and uncomfortable and not ok. If she no longer wants to kiss, don’t kiss!
It upset Clare (understandably) enough, that she didn’t go to dinner and had Chris Harrison go to break up with him for her. And so Zach got sent home.
Back at the pool there was talk of Clare and Dale possibly being in communication prior to the show. Which, who knows if that’s true or not. Not sure if we’ll find that out.
Next up was another group date, and Margaret Cho was there to help the men write jokes for a roast. The rest of the men came to be the audience for the show.
Of course the men really tore into Dale, especially Bennett. Honestly all of their complaints about him seem to be not that bad?
Anyways, Clare was not pleased, naturally, that they hurt her boy. Although Dale took it well - back at the house he told Eazy that he deserved it and he was okay with it.
Meanwhile during the cocktail portion of the evening was still monopolized by Dale and Clare asking about their jokes about Dale. Literally every guy she talked to about him. That’s pretty rude and tough on those guys, I gotta say.
She ended up saying that she didn’t get what she needed from the men and didn’t give any of them a rose on that date. That led to talk of the men walking out. (But they didn’t - at least not on this episode. Probably because they are trapped there).
Next episode is where things will get wild… and we get a NEW Bachelorette?!
Lace and Grant were questioning their relationship. Absolutely crazy for two people who GOT TATTOOS just the day before.
All the men met with American hero Neil Lane to find their engagement ring and stand with picturesque backgrounds with it.
Evan spoke about how he never wanted to get married again until now. Which, as if. Please stop. Then Nick said he hoped it was the last time he’d meet with Neil Lane (Bachelor you seriously fucked this one up).
Evan and Carly were the first to go and they professed their love and got engaged. UGH GIRL HE TRICKED YOU AND THEN HE CRIED GET OUTTA THERE.
ALSO - his exact words were: “will you freaking marry me” - NOTE TO ANYONE PLANNING TO PROPOSE TO ME IF YOU SAY THIS I WILL NOT ONLY SAY NO BUT CASTRATE YOU IN THE PROCESS. xoxoxoxo.
Anyways, Lace and Grant were next, and they had one of the most real proclamations of love and then got engaged. They are the only couple I am actually rooting for and very happy for. Tattoo and all.
Then we had Nick and Jen and like spoiler he’s the next Bachelor so they can’t possibly last. She laid her feelings out and said I love you and he said that something was telling him to say goodbye.
Then we had Amanda and Josh, where Amanda proclaimed her love and Josh (shockingly) proposed to her. (Then talked about how great the ring he picked out was, barf).
Tonight the girls met Ben’s parents, and it was clear his mother was NOT impressed with her son loving two women. Despite this, his parents clearly liked Jojo more.
Shocker: both girls are worried he loves someone else. Because he does.
Unsurprisingly, in the end he chose Lauren B. Jojo knew as soon as he opened his mouth and was clearly over it. GIRL YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN HIM.
Ben was all sorts of conflicted over the two girls, but he got over it and called Lauren's dad to ask for his permission to marry her.
So he proposed, and gave her a rose, and she said yes, just as she was programmed to as a young robot.
Later that night she tried to make up for it by letting him know that she loves him. Just like all the other girls. She of course accepted the overnight.
Next up was Lauren with an equally awkward date. She also told him that she loves him. She also accepted the overnight. The only difference here is that he also told her that he loves her as well. As if we have any doubt at this point he’s going to pick her.
Next we had Jojo who had to jog and jump to meet Benny boy.
She also told Ben that she loves him and he ALSO told HER that he loves her. Just digging himself a nice lil hole. She also accepted the overnight.
When Ben realized that he couldn’t say I love you back to Caila, that maybe she isn’t he one for him. She, on the other hand, wanted to spend more time with him and unexpectedly showed up at his villa. This was her demise since Ben took it as an opportunity to say goodbye to her.
Gotta give it to Cails, she really took the breakup with stride. She also took her time to get some answers from him. Very confident and respectful while still being herself. Into it.
Then we got to the rose ceremony with just Jojo and Lauren. They both told Chris Harrison about the “I love you” exchanges and the look on his face said “Oh boy we will be having a CHAT later that fucking rule breaker”.
They weirdly did the rose ceremony anyways, even though everyone present was getting a rose.
Next week is the women tell all (yasss).
Why they’re in Warsaw we don’t know (poor Benny needed mommy and daddy), who he also doesn’t want the girls to peek at through their windows. Because they might be having sex. Why he felt the need to say that about his parents to all his girlfriends, who knows.
Lauren got the first date, where he brought her to the spot where he had his first kiss, and then described said kiss. Then he awkwardly kissed her. There were no roses on this date.
Back at their house the girls were all upset because Ben had come in and asked Lauren on a date (compared to a regular date card). When the actual date card arrived Jojo got the second one-on-one date.
Surprise, surprise they went to a sports stadium. We get it Ben, you thin sports are really cool.
The group date was Caila, Amanda, and Becca, leaving Emily with her first one-on-one. On the three-on-one, they went on a boat ride, with Ben and Caila in one boat and the other two in their own boat.
For the rest of the date everyone was just super bitter to be on the group date at all. Amanda ended up getting the group date rose, meaning Ben is of sure going to meet her family (including her kids), and she got to continue on the date with him. Being in Indiana wasn’t American enough, so they went to work at a McDonald’s drive-thru to really solidify the experience. Can we also take a minute to discuss how awkward Ben is at kissing? There hasn’t been one normal kissing experience yet.
On the plus side when they went to the carnival held in the honour (eyeroll), Ben was the most real we’ve seen him while riding the rides that terrified him. Finalllly. Please do every date on a rollercoaster.
Emily got to meet Ben’s family, where the fact she was so young (23) was continually brought up (because Ben is a MATURE 26). He then took her back to the house the girls were ate, where they sat on a bench where all the ladies could see them and that’s where he decided to break up with her. In his words he “does not see her as a wife”. He did take full credit for making her her own person without her twin.
At the rose ceremony, after a talk with Chris Harrison about how tough this is, Ben gave roses to Lauren, Caila, and Jojo, leaving Becca with two seasons and zero boyfriends under her belt.
We then got into the rose ceremony, and the girls who got roses were Caila, Lauren B., Jojo, Becca, Leah, and Emily; sending Jennifer home.
Then they were off to the Bahamas.
Caila got the one-on-one and Ben thinks she smiles too much. She still gets the rose.
Lauren B, Becca, Amanda, Lauren H., Jojo and Leah were all picked to be on the group date. It was one of the most awkward, with the girls basically not putting up with Ben’s bullshit. Leah told Ben that Lauren B was different in the house than she is in front of him, even though she’s the only one who saw that. In the end Amanda received the rose.
While all the girls were talking about Leah behind her back that night, she took the time to go visit Ben at his place to talk more about Lauren B. This made Ben realize that there was a disconnect between the two of them and sent her home right then and there.
Olivia and Emily therefore got the two-on-one. Olivia took her time with Ben to say she loved him, and he decided on that rain soaked beach that he could not reciprocate her feelings. As much as I hate Olivia, I don't know why he had to carry the rose with him to say goodbye to her, that just seemed rude. Anyways, Emily got the rose and Olivia was left to stand by herself on a rocky, windy, rainy beach to contemplate her life.
Ben decided to cancel the cocktail party this week, and went right to the rose ceremony. He gave roses to Becca, Jojo, and Lauen B.; sending home Lauren H.
Luckily she got a rose or else that would be truly unfair.
For the group date the girls had to learn Spanish then cook together in teams. Olivia forced Ben to be on her team, but the judge said their food looked like dog food because revenge is sweet.
Later in the night Ben made the biggest mistake in his life (until the next day when he tried on an ugly ass hat) by sending Jubilee home because she wouldn’t hold his hand. It’s okay, Ben, I hated when someone wouldn’t hold my hand when I was 12-years-old, too.
Olivia got the group date rose because justice doesn’t exist.
Lauren H got the second one-on-one date where she was forced to model in the fashion city of the world: Mexico City. She got a rose.
At the cocktail party Olivia told Amanda she reminded her of an episode of Teen Mom, and so Emily went and told on her, and Amanda told Ben as well. I gotta say, I think Emily is my favourite now that Jubs is gone.
We’ve been deprived of a cliff hanger this season so we finally got one tonight after Ben pulled Olivia aside to talk to her.
Next week looks like a psychological thriller where Olivia is haunting all of them (he’s obviously not going to send her home right now).
Amanda, Jubilee, Caila, Amber, Lauren B., Hailey, Emily, Leah, Lauren H., Amber, Rachel, and Olivia all got the group date, where they got to get up on stage and do a talent show in front of a real audience.
Olivia did a Vegas style dance, including popping out of a cake, and as one girl put it, it was cringe-worthy. She then had a complete meltdown because a puppet was mean to her. Hate when that happens.
Honestly, I think that she was faking it. But we all forgot that when Lauren H. made out with a freaking puppet. Lauren B. was the one who got the rose though.
And of course, Becca got the one-on-one, where she got to wear a wedding dress to meet Ben at a wedding chapel where they were going to marry other people. She got a rose.
Emily and Haley (the twins) got a surprise two-on-one date in their hometown of Las Vegas. Then, in front of their mom, he said goodbye to Haley (the one without the finger injury).
In the end Amanda, Lauren H., Jubilee, Emily, Caila, Jennifer, Leah, and Olivia got roses, sending home Amber and Rachel.
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