Bachelor In Paradise Recap

Lauren just doesn’t know why this world is so awful to her.

This episode started after the first rose ceremony, with Lauren I crying and complaining that she’s tried and she just wants to go home. Because her free ride with her sister in Paradise has just gotten to be TOO much.

Turns out, Lauren’s actually dating a guy who has a girlfriend, and she even referred to herself as a mistress.

Joshua from Kaitlyn’s season (the one who shaved half his head) showed up, and was just who Lauren was hoping for. Before he can even finish the date card, Ashley pulls him away to wing woman his sister. Too bad for her, he asked Tenley on the date.

This pushed Lauren over the edge and she decided to go home to her boyfriend who is someone else’s boyfriend. Nobody cared that Lauren was leaving (except Ashley, who, obviously, cried).

Joe from Kaitlyn’s season showed up as well, and made things incredibly awkward. Apparently all the guys said that Joe was funny before he showed up, but maybe he was one of the fart jokers.

He then said that Clare being at her second Paradise was terrible. She then went and cried by herself and talked to a raccoon yet again. They clearly edited it to look like that but I’ll always take it, because it’s amazing. The racoon was also all over a bottle of wine, because why not.

Joe (sort of) asked Juelia out on a date, but nobody was really sure if he did or not.

Real line from Tenley and Joshua’s date:
T: “I worked for Tokyo Disney.”
J: “So like…Chinese Disney?”
T: “No…Japanese.”

But she still loves his rugged country charm (because she likes big guys).

JJ stole Tenley away when they got home from their date, and he kissed her (SEVERAL times) and was going to sleep peacefully. Little did he know, Josh took Tenley back afterwards for several more kisses.

The next day Josh revealed some of this true colours (his love of the drug Molly and partying). When Tenley confronted him after hearing it from other people he flat out lied to her.

Juelia pulled Jonathan aside to let him know that she was feeling a connection with Joe, meanwhile Joe was talking about how he thought that Juelia was pretty dumb to a producer. He went on to basically say the date was not good and she was not the right person for him, but he let her kiss him so he could get the rose. Because what he really wants is Samantha (from Chris’s season) comes on and he will have kids with her.

The best part was when the producer yelled at Joe for farting with his legs open. YASS QUEEN.

Jared got a date card and asked Clare on the date. Which obviously made one million things blow up, drama wise. Ashley went crying and Mikey is mad because obviously he owns Clare and it’s her fault for not making it clear (UM WUT) about how she feels about him. This drama will continue tomorrow night.