They made it out of Utah. Finally. And they’re back in LA. Kaitlyn's sister cannot believe that Nick V is back or that him and Shawn and feuding. The sister is our representative.
Is the couch low enough yet? KEEP GOING said the producer before Kaitlyn’s family arrived. They made it out of Utah. Finally. And they’re back in LA. Kaitlyn's sister cannot believe that Nick V is back or that him and Shawn and feuding. The sister is our representative.
Nick was the epitome of class in an open button-up and jeans and sneakers.
The whole family was shocked to see Nick V in all honesty, but her mom called him out on his shit. She called him arrogant and his response was that he wasn’t surprised that he was there. Then he cried like a little baby talking about how she was great. Because manipulation. Then voila, the interrogation stopped.
Shawn on the other hand was wearing a matching shirt to Kaitlyn’s dad. So points on the outfit for Shawn.
Kaitlyn’s mom brought up the point we’re all having trouble with - which is jealousy with Shawn. He admitted to his struggle with jealousy, and that he only feels jealous because his feelings are so strong, and since it wasn’t exclusive he had troubles but once they are exclusive he’ll be fine. That won over Kaitlyn’s mom, and if it won her over it won us over.
Nick asked her dad for her hand in marriage whereas Shawn asked both parents. More points for Shawn.
Don’t worry, there were still one more date each.
Nick and Kaitlyn went sailing. Then they drank wine and had gross kisses. Nick gave her a gift (it was not in his pants). It was a really lame poem and picture in a fold up picture frame. UGH.
Kaitlyn and Shawn drank wine on a bench and Kaitlyn couldn’t articulate her feelings. For his gift to Kaitlyn he chose the Jar of Treats (or Memory Jar). It included pictures and golf tees.
Neil Lane was there (obvi) and both guys picked out rings (although Nick thought it might be Kaitlyn knocking on the door to break up with him).
They all returned to the mansion for the final rose BECAUSE THIS SEASON MAKES NO SENSE. And the first one out of the limo was…Nick. SEE YA LATER.
It was ruff watching him pour his heart out to her and have her just clearly not on the same page. Luckily she didn’t let him get down on one knee, but she did continue on her streak of super shitty breakups. He there both the engagement ring and the ring him and Kaitlyn got in Ireland when in the limo.
Then came the time where Shawn got down on one knee and said all the right things and voila, they’re engaged by the Bachelor mansion pool.
It was pretty cute, I won’t lie. But someone get Kaitlyn a coat please.
0 Comments
He repeats this mantra to himself 3 more times before emerging from the bathroom to sit amongst the other men. Nobody remembers who he is. He may have never even been on the show. But he was able to dress up his job title so much the producers didn’t question it. So here is. “Junkyard specialist” he repeats to himself one more time.
Don’t worry, Ryan M., we’ve already forgotten you (again), and focused back on Ashley “is that an onion!?” Salter who is with the rest of the Bachelor in Paradise cast looking like she could not care less. Also like she may be confused. Things got heated FAST when they showed the clips of Ian being a DUMB IDIOT and one of the guys (I assume his name is Coreyander) said he agreed with Ian that Kaitlyn wasn’t a good Bachelorette. To which Jared responded “how long were you even on the show?”
Ian got down on one knee to say that he regrets the way he left the show and the things he said.
Poopah decided that men losing their jobs MEN WHO HAVE KIDS GODDAMNIT were screwed over by her bringing Nick on.
Bern Z. talked about how he closed off to Kaitlyn after she pretended to be dead during their date. Which we’ve discussed, because COME ON GIRL you do not invite the person who has had personal tragedy to a date where you pretend to have a wake. Maybe just don’t pretend to have a wake? Weird. Ryan M. gave a successful finger-gun-point to Kaitlyn. Almost faints at the attention.
Kaitlyn came out and they discussed how she’s been treated because of her choices on the show. Chris Harrison read out some of the (VERY) hateful comments she’s received (including death threats). The audience was stunned to silence until someone shouted “we love you though!” then she got a standing ovation.
Chris then said “I would take you as a role model to my kids over anybody who cyberbullies”. It was actually I think an important few moments on the show, to make it clear that she is a real person, and tweeting that you think she’s a whore doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt her. Then we got back to the drams. The guys called Kaitlyn out on her shit (aka, inviting Nick to join the show). Coreyander still has lots to say. Seriously - who is this guy? Don’t worry though, everyone made up in the end and we got our bloopers of Kaitlyn. Alls well that ends well, amirite broken hearted fellas? 
Nick and Shawn are in a little seaside cottage. Shawn is talking and not listening to anything Nick says. Suddenly they look into each other’s eyes and realize that maybe they actually have found true love…with each other. The cameras go outside but the audio is still on so we can hear their tender love making.
Or at least that’s how I was hoping this confrontation would pan out. But alas. They just continued to disagree in a very boring manner. Brokeback Bachelor continues to be nothing but a pipe dream that we were once promised...
Kaitlyn and Ben go and ride horses. There are so many knit sweaters. As well as donkeys with “sick haircuts” (thanks for the description Ben). The horses and nature felt Ben’s calming presence, as did Kaitlyn. Enough to invite him up to the fantasy suite.
Let’s be real: Ben is the safe choice. He’s boring and would be the easy one to pick. BUT he’s not even that safe of a choice, he JUST turned 26. He may think he knows what he wants but chances are he doesn’t. He has a chance of winning since the other two are acting like such dorks though. The fantasy suites have been super played-down this season because there was so much drama in the lead-up to it and so much focus on her banging Nick before the suites. It’s weird for there not to be this big deal surrounding them. Shawn and Kaitlyn go golfing and he asks if the pants make his butt look big and he HAS to wear a pink shirt because HUMOUR AMIRITE. HAHAH. PINK SHIRT ON MEN. HAHAH. SO GREAT.
Also FYI ladies, if she doesn’t pick Shawn, you need to have a good golf swing for him to consider you wife material EVEN THOUGH HE SUCKS AT IT.
He gets naked and she steals his clothes (humour). Irish music plays (that sounds maybe like the Titanic soundtrack?). Shawn tells Kaitlyn that he talked to Nick and he will talk to him again and she was all no, you don’t need to do that. Duh, dummy. All Kaitlyn is worried about is that Shawn will be loyal. Not that he’ll be possessive or over jealous (which RED FLAG he will be). She takes him to the suite to continue their discussions off camera where she hopes she’ll know by morning whether or not he’ll be marriage material.
Shawn went to talk to Nick again to tell him that he never wants to talk to him again. V productive. We get it Shawn, you like to talk. But we hate to break it to you, nobody wants to talk to you.
Kaitlyn and Chris had a little fireside chat (because, Ireland. Maybe they’re stuck there? Maybe someone’s passport got lost and they couldn’t leave?).
Her dress looks amazing, I guess to give the guy she’s sending home a good leaving memory of her. But before she can hand out a single rose she breaks down and has to leave the room. Chris Harrison obviously helps her regain her composure so she can come back and give Nick and Shawn a rose and send Ben home. So now *the drama continues*.
The remaining gentlemen (I’m taking that guy with the hair’s advice of not referring to them by name). Pounded back their wine so quick that they were left with nothing to do but adjust their panties and stand around.
Our first stop after Ireland is Utah, where apparently she’ll be meeting both Shawn and Nick’s families. Does that not defeat the purpose of hometowns?
Nick’s family sits awkwardly in a hotel room drinking and crying for Nick. They were VERY concerned for his well being. Even though he’s the one who decided to come on the show in the first place. But (supposedly) love her after talking with her for five minutes. And after they danced in a very natural, unposed way. Nick cried to his mommy.
Kaitlyn brings the same gifts to both families, which hopefully they don’t notice while watching this episode, or else there may be *trouble in paradise*.
Shawn tells Kaitlyn that he’s been in love with her for a while. They made out and all their gross kissing sounds were very audible. Kaitlyn then cried because the day went so well. Kaitlyn cried because Kaitlyn cries and that’s how we have to end every episode.
Next week we have the Men Tell All then the finale in two weeks where obviously both of them will propose.
Respect to Shawn for sticking with his position of not referring to Nick by name and still calling him ‘the other guy’.
Shawn got more one-on-one time after Kaitlyn sent Nick back to the house for the night. It was during this time with Shawn that she admitted to having sex with Nick. He, naturally, is not overjoyed with this information. Neither Shawn or Nick got a rose, but both of them are still around for the rose ceremony. One person still needs to go before hometowns. They did NOT have a cocktail party because girl KNEW what she wanted. The men had to take a Sleepy Hollow style horse carriage ride to the castle they were holding tonight’s courting experience. The first rose went to Shawn BUT he wanted to talk to her first. He still can’t comprehend why she would sleep with HIM of all people. Girl, if he isn’t okay with it now, he won’t be at the end of all this. Ben got the second rose and Nick the third. Sending the poor man’s Ashton Kutcher (Jared) away. Nick got the first overnight date, which drove Shawn insane with jealousy. After the date was over, Shawn went to seed Nick and have a conversation with him. A conversation meaning calling him names and tell him how he actually feels. And the drama will continue next week, where Shawn and Nick will lose their minds on each other. Summary: Kaitlyn did NOT in fact tell all the guys she slept with Nick, just Shawn. Everyone still hates everyone else. Brady and Britt are trying long distance. He’s going back to Nashville and she’s staying in LA. |
