The night itself was fairly boring as far as award shows go. Ricky Gervais was a self-centered, obnoxious, offensive, unfunny host, but that's what we expected, I guess. Maybe let's stop inviting him back though, ok?
Anyways, here are the list of winners. My picks are italicized, winners are in bold (yes, I did only get 6/25 correct, according to the HFPA, but I got 25/25 when it comes to actual quality). Also, take it from me, The Revenant isn't worth watching unless your thing is watching Leo drag himself through the forest grunting for two and a half hours. But congrats on your wins! Best Motion Picture – Drama “Carol” “Mad Max: Fury Road” “The Revenant” “Room” “Spotlight” Best Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical “The Big Short” “Joy” “The Martian” “Spy” “Trainwreck” Best Director – Motion Picture Todd Haynes (“Carol”) Alejandro G. Iñárritu (“The Revenant”) Tom McCarthy (“Spotlight”) George Miller (“Mad Max: Fury Road”) Ridley Scott (“The Martian”) Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama Bryan Cranston (“Trumbo”) Leonardo DiCaprio (“The Revenant”) Michael Fassbender (“Steve Jobs”) Eddie Redmayne (“The Danish Girl”) Will Smith (“Concussion”) Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama Cate Blanchett (“Carol”) Brie Larson (“Room”) Rooney Mara (“Carol”) Saoirse Ronan (“Brooklyn”) Alicia Vikander (“The Danish Girl”) Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical Christian Bale (“The Big Short”) Steve Carell (“The Big Short”) Matt Damon (“The Martian”) Al Pacino (“Danny Collins”) Mark Ruffalo (“Infinitely Polar Bear”) Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Comedy Jennifer Lawrence (“Joy”) Melissa McCarthy (“Spy”) Amy Schumer (“Trainwreck”) Maggie Smith (“The Lady in the Van”) Lily Tomlin (“Grandma”) Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture Paul Dano (“Love & Mercy”) Idris Elba (“Beasts of No Nation”) Mark Rylance (“Bridge of Spies”) Michael Shannon (“99 Homes”) Sylvester Stallone (“Creed”) Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture Jane Fonda (“Youth”) Jennifer Jason Leigh (“The Hateful Eight”) Helen Mirren (“Trumbo”) Alicia Vikander (“Ex Machina”) Kate Winslet (“Steve Jobs”) Best Screenplay – Motion Picture Emma Donoghue (“Room”) Tom McCarthy, Josh Singer (“Spotlight”) Charles Randolph, Adam McKay (“The Big Short”) Aaron Sorkin (“Steve Jobs”) Quentin Tarantino (“The Hateful Eight”) Best Original Score Carter Burwell (“Carol”) Alexandre Desplat (“The Danish Girl”) Ennio Morricone (“The Hateful Eight”) Daniel Pemberton (“Steve Jobs”) Ryuichi Sakamoto Alva Noto (“The Revenant”) Best Original Song “Love Me Like You Do” from “Fifty Shades of Grey” “One Kind of Love” from “Love & Mercy” “See You Again” from “Furious 7” “Simple Song No. 3” from “Youth” “Writing’s on the Wall” from “Spectre” Best Animated Feature Film “Anomalisa” “The Good Dinosaur” “Inside Out” “The Peanuts Movie” “Shaun the Sheep Movie” Best Motion Picture – Foreign Language “The Brand New Testament” “The Club” “The Fencer” “Mustang” “Son of Saul” Best TV Series – Drama “Empire” “Game of Thrones” “Mr. Robot” “Narcos” “Outlander” Best TV Series – Comedy “Casual” “Mozart in the Jungle” “Orange Is the New Black” “Silicon Valley” “Transparent” “Veep” Best TV Movie or Limited-Series “American Crime” “American Horror Story: Hotel” “Fargo” “Flesh and Bone” “Wolf Hall” Best Actor in a TV Series – Drama Jon Hamm (“Mad Men”) Rami Malek (“Mr. Robot”) Wagner Moura (“Narcos”) Bob Odenkirk (“Better Call Saul”) Liev Schreiber (“Ray Donovan”) Best Actress in a TV Series – Drama Caitriona Balfe (“Outlander”) Viola Davis (“How to Get Away With Murder”) Eva Green (“Penny Dreadful”) Taraji P. Henson (“Empire”) Robin Wright (“House of Cards”) Best Actor in a TV Series – Comedy Aziz Ansari (“Master of None”) Gael Garcia Bernal (“Mozart in the Jungle”) Rob Lowe (“The Grinder”) Patrick Stewart (“Blunt Talk”) Jeffrey Tambor (“Transparent”) Best Actress in a TV Series – Comedy Rachel Bloom (“Crazy Ex Girlfriend”) Jamie Lee Curtis (“Scream Queens”) Julia Louis-Dreyfus (“Veep”) Gina Rodriguez (“Jane the Virgin”) Lily Tomlin (“Grace & Frankie”) Best Actor in a Limited-Series or TV Movie Idris Elba (“Luther”) Oscar Isaac (“Show Me a Hero”) David Oyelowo (“Nightingale”) Mark Rylance (“Wolf Hall”) Patrick Wilson (“Fargo”) Best Actress in a Limited-Series or TV Movie Kirsten Dunst (“Fargo”) Lady Gaga (“American Horror Story: Hotel”) Sarah Hay (“Flesh & Bone”) Felicity Huffman (“American Crime”) Queen Latifah (“Bessie”) Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Limited-Series or TV Movie Alan Cumming (“The Good Wife”) Damian Lewis (“Wolf Hall”) Ben Mendelsohn (“Bloodline”) Tobias Menzies (“Outlander”) Christian Slater (“Mr. Robot”) Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Limited-Series, or TV Movie Uzo Aduba (“Orange is the New Black”) Joanne Froggatt (“Downton Abbey”) Regina King (“American Crime”) Judith Light (“Transparent”) Maura Tierney (“The Affair”)
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Best Motion Picture – Drama
“Carol” “Mad Max: Fury Road” “The Revenant” “Room” “Spotlight” Best Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical “The Big Short” “Joy” “The Martian” “Spy” “Trainwreck” Best Director – Motion Picture Todd Haynes (“Carol”) Alejandro G. Iñárritu (“The Revenant”) Tom McCarthy (“Spotlight”) George Miller (“Mad Max: Fury Road”) Ridley Scott (“The Martian”) Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama Bryan Cranston (“Trumbo”) Leonardo DiCaprio (“The Revenant”) Michael Fassbender (“Steve Jobs”) Eddie Redmayne (“The Danish Girl”) Will Smith (“Concussion”) Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama Cate Blanchett (“Carol”) Brie Larson (“Room”) Rooney Mara (“Carol”) Saoirse Ronan (“Brooklyn”) Alicia Vikander (“The Danish Girl”) Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical Christian Bale (“The Big Short”) Steve Carell (“The Big Short”) Matt Damon (“The Martian”) Al Pacino (“Danny Collins”) Mark Ruffalo (“Infinitely Polar Bear”) Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Comedy Jennifer Lawrence (“Joy”) Melissa McCarthy (“Spy”) Amy Schumer (“Trainwreck”) Maggie Smith (“The Lady in the Van”) Lily Tomlin (“Grandma”) Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture Paul Dano (“Love & Mercy”) Idris Elba (“Beasts of No Nation”) Mark Rylance (“Bridge of Spies”) Michael Shannon (“99 Homes”) Sylvester Stallone (“Creed”) Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture Jane Fonda (“Youth”) Jennifer Jason Leigh (“The Hateful Eight”) Helen Mirren (“Trumbo”) Alicia Vikander (“Ex Machina”) Kate Winslet (“Steve Jobs”) Best Screenplay – Motion Picture Emma Donoghue (“Room”) Tom McCarthy, Josh Singer (“Spotlight”) Charles Randolph, Adam McKay (“The Big Short”) Aaron Sorkin (“Steve Jobs”) Quentin Tarantino (“The Hateful Eight”) Best Original Score Carter Burwell (“Carol”) Alexandre Desplat (“The Danish Girl”) Ennio Morricone (“The Hateful Eight”) Daniel Pemberton (“Steve Jobs”) Ryuichi Sakamoto Alva Noto (“The Revenant”) Best Original Song “Love Me Like You Do” from “Fifty Shades of Grey” “One Kind of Love” from “Love & Mercy” “See You Again” from “Furious 7” “Simple Song No. 3” from “Youth” “Writing’s on the Wall” from “Spectre” Best Animated Feature Film “Anomalisa” “The Good Dinosaur” “Inside Out” “The Peanuts Movie” “Shaun the Sheep Movie” Best Motion Picture – Foreign Language “The Brand New Testament” “The Club” “The Fencer” “Mustang” “Son of Saul” Best TV Series – Drama “Empire” “Game of Thrones” “Mr. Robot” “Narcos” “Outlander” Best TV Series – Comedy “Casual” “Mozart in the Jungle” “Orange Is the New Black” “Silicon Valley” “Transparent” “Veep” Best TV Movie or Limited-Series “American Crime” “American Horror Story: Hotel” “Fargo” “Flesh and Bone” “Wolf Hall” Best Actor in a TV Series – Drama Jon Hamm (“Mad Men”) Rami Malek (“Mr. Robot”) Wagner Moura (“Narcos”) Bob Odenkirk (“Better Call Saul”) Liev Schreiber (“Ray Donovan”) Best Actress in a TV Series – Drama Caitriona Balfe (“Outlander”) Viola Davis (“How to Get Away With Murder”) Eva Green (“Penny Dreadful”) Taraji P. Henson (“Empire”) Robin Wright (“House of Cards”) Best Actor in a TV Series – Comedy Aziz Ansari (“Master of None”) Gael Garcia Bernal (“Mozart in the Jungle”) Rob Lowe (“The Grinder”) Patrick Stewart (“Blunt Talk”) Jeffrey Tambor (“Transparent”) Best Actress in a TV Series – Comedy Rachel Bloom (“Crazy Ex Girlfriend”) Jamie Lee Curtis (“Scream Queens”) Julia Louis-Dreyfus (“Veep”) Gina Rodriguez (“Jane the Virgin”) Lily Tomlin (“Grace & Frankie”) Best Actor in a Limited-Series or TV Movie Idris Elba (“Luther”) Oscar Isaac (“Show Me a Hero”) David Oyelowo (“Nightingale”) Mark Rylance (“Wolf Hall”) Patrick Wilson (“Fargo”) Best Actress in a Limited-Series or TV Movie Kirsten Dunst (“Fargo”) Lady Gaga (“American Horror Story: Hotel”) Sarah Hay (“Flesh & Bone”) Felicity Huffman (“American Crime”) Queen Latifah (“Bessie”) Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Limited-Series or TV Movie Alan Cumming (“The Good Wife”) Damian Lewis (“Wolf Hall”) Ben Mendelsohn (“Bloodline”) Tobias Menzies (“Outlander”) Christian Slater (“Mr. Robot”) Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Limited-Series, or TV Movie Uzo Aduba (“Orange is the New Black”) Joanne Froggatt (“Downton Abbey”) Regina King (“American Crime”) Judith Light (“Transparent”) Maura Tierney (“The Affair”)
“I used to play a narcissistic conservative pundit, now I’m just a narcissist”
Colbert then came literally bounding out on the stage with the MOST energy I’ve seen in a late night host. The audience joined in a Stephen chant, reminiscent of his Colbert Report days. I hope that chant never ends.
The opening credits was a miniature version of New York, with Colbert as the announcer and on rooftops. It was adorable and lovely in every way. He gave a nice little speech to thank Dave Letterman to start the show. They had a running gag about how they’ll switch the show over to The Mentalist if it starts going bad (The Mentalist is what they’ve had playing in the time slot all summer). Jimmy Fallon made an appearance from his studio, and the two had an amicable exchange that hopefully puts to rest the claims that Colbert will start a Late Night War (siiiiigh, lazy journalism that’s enough). He had an entertaining story about how he sold his soul to a demon to get the Late Show, and now has to do his bidding. When they returned from the first commercial they had a spot for graphics a-la-Report and did some political news, truly sticking to his roots. I mean, on what other show will the host eat two packs of Oeros while talking about Donald Trump? George Clooney was his first guest, and their interview was light hearted and fun. Since Clooney didn’t have a film to plug, they actually made one up, poking fun at Tom Cruise along the way. Jeb Bush was the show’s first political candidate, and Colbert asked him both entreating and important questions, just as we expect him to do. The musical numbers at the end were a medley performed by multiple artists, with Colbert joining in as well. The final moment of the show had Colbert putting his things away in a locker, with a picture of Jon Stewart taped to the side, and then he said goodbye to Fallon, who was putting his away in a locker with a picture of Colbert. I mean, COME ON. I like the aesthetic they have going. From the set, to the desk, to the music and the logo. Everything works and it all just fits so well with Colbert and his personality. Overall, the parts of Colbert that initially drew us to him in the Report are genuinely parts of the real Colbert. He’s energetic, quick, smart, and still funny as ever. He’s still a nerd who loves talking about being a nerd, but he’s more himself now. If anything, the real Colbert could be even better than the character. He also just seemed so genuinely happy and excited to be there. His happiness was contagious, and you couldn’t help but smile watching him. He could possibly be just the thing late night tv needed, and I cannot wait to see what he does. Congrats, Stephen, here’s to one trillion more years as host.
Nicki called out Miley for stuff she said in an interview earlier this week, saying “now back to this bitch who had a lot to say about me in the press last week. Miley what’s good?” and the gauntlet was thrown. Miley tried to quash it, but it’s hard to say whether it worked out or not. Minaj immediately tweeted out “Lmfaaoooooooo” with 3 heart eye emojis so WHO KNOWS. Big Sean and Nick Jonas presented together, because obviously. The winner of Best Female Video was Taylor Swift for Blank Space (and Kanye actually let her finish this time).
Taylor Swift presented Kanye West with the Vanguard Award (PS. if you weren’t feeling old enough, it’s been SIX YEARS since “Ima Let You Finish”. SIX YEARS).
He basically spent his whole speech apologizing to Taylor for that incident SIX YEARS AGO, and it was actually very, very sweet. He just wanted people to like him more. He voiced it for all of us when he said “I don’t understand award shows, man”. Same, Yeezy, same. Oh, and he announced he’ll be running for President in 2020. Obviously.
And the final performance of the evening was the girl herself. It was full of references to weed and drag queen dancers. I dug it.
She also announced that her new album is online for FREE right now (mileycyrusandherdeadpetz.com, for when the internet stops breaking the page with views). The main takeaway from tonight’s VMAs: Everyone has beef that can be solved. And everyone is high.
Swift's latest video is old-Hollywood romance style and really makes up for the failure that was 'Bad Blood'. You don't need all those stars/lead up/over indulgence to make perfection, Tay Tay! All the proceeds from the video will also be going to the wild animal conversation efforts through the African Parks Foundation of America. So watch it, losers!
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